Hello, this is Brett Keane. The best there is and will ever not be, or will be ever, uh sorry I'm getting confused. I'm here to talk about Atheist Garbage. The Atheist community on you tube is in some serious trouble now. Why? Because of me. Because I am going to rip them all new s. Because you people are in dire need of it. You people are the kind of people who'd go after family members, go all personal on someone, and hit below the belt. You slandered me, while Christians, Jews and Muslims didn't! Atheist have done far worse things than any religious people. Ever heard of Pol Pot? He was an Atheist. Oh yeah, he was Italian, I think...wherever the that is. So what if I don't know who the man is, I know he was an Atheist! So suck it, es! I'm going to systematically destroy all immoral atheist! You've been begging for this for a long time! You've been crying to me saying, "Destroy my views, destroy my ideology, destroy my agenda" because that's what you guys have, an agenda. Now having a scam to pull is not an agenda, so don't try to pull that on me! You're all just a bunch of angry ers who were abused by religious figures, and yes all of you were abused by religious figures, even if you were not raised in any religious setting, I know it happened! I'm just systematically, hey what the was that?
Dawn: Hey Brett! Surprised to see me?
Fuck yes, I am! What the are you doing still alive..I mean, it's good to see you again! Did you um crawl out of the dumpster?
Dawn: Not exactly, you see, I had to navigate myself out of a landfill, through things more hideous and smelly than even you!
Oh , you're a stupid . Don't you realize that was one of the reasons I tried to kill you? Your defiance of me! Don't you see..wait, is that ing camera still on? Shit, let me turn it off.
That's better, now listen you , you better do as I say, or you'll end up in that landfill, only you won't be crawling out of it.
Dawn: You know, I kind of prepared for this moment, but first I have to give you a few suggestions on your videos.
All right, let's hear 'em.
Dawn: Okay, first, you should keep the themes specific. One second, you're a sobbing piece of whining about how you think the world is imperfect and needs desperately to find better leadership, and then you go and make a video where you are all cheerful and say you're a machine. Everyone knows that you aren't, most of all me.
I'm not liking these suggestions..
Dawn: Too bad, you're going to hear them. Now I hear you're going to rip a small community of atheist on a website new s? How? You're not allowed on you tube, no one ever addresses your points of criticism because they are just stupid, and because of that, the only time you're ever mentioned on the site is when someone wants to make a joke or show an example of a complete baboon ass. How in hell are you going to bring armageddon on them?
Jesus ing Christ, can't you get a clue? I have a large following, and my sympathy pleas are already working. Just go to my site, and see!
Dawn: Speaking of Jesus, don't you realize many people already know you're a closet Christian?
Shut up, people don't know that! They don't realize I only associate myself with Atheism and Skepticism to look different. Okay, I guess I have to put on dramatic music to get you in the mood.
(Sad theme plays)
Dawn: Look, I'm not going to feel sympathy for you. Turn that off.
Fine, that song didn't work out for you? Let me play this one.
(Another sad theme plays)
Dawn: God damnit I don't want to hear any ing music!
(Gun blast)
Oh , Dawn what the is that?
Dawn: Oh yeah, I almost forgot, this is what I meant when I said I am prepared for you.
Dawn, be sensible! Why are you pointing that gun at me!! Think of the children!
Dawn: You don't give a about the children, and they are the ones who came up with this idea in the first place.
(Dawn shoots Brett)
Camera comes back on.
Dawn: Sorry folks, but Brett Keane is unavailable at the moment.
Dramatic music from E.V.O. Search for Eden and The Legend of Zelda: Twilight
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